{praying for a miracle}

Yesterday was my last day of vacation from school. Today is my first day of my Spring semester. I have been managing school pretty well so far this year, but today is different. I am taking three classes at one time instead of two. Two of the classes are 16 week classes and one is an 8 week class. At the conclusion of my 8 week class, I have a week off for Spring break and then I start another 8 week class. All together I am still doing 4 classes in the 16 week semester, but managing three at one time seems overwhelming. I have looked at the syllabus and course requirements over and over and it appears that my classes will be manageable but I am still nervous. I might not be so nervous if I didn't have a sweet little girl waiting to make her debut towards the end of the semester. I also know my body and I know how my pregnancies go. Right around 28 weeks I feel like I'm back in my first trimester minus the nausea but with the addition of restless nights and a lot of lower back pain.

Part of my refocus for the New Year was to make my priority increasing my personal faith and spirituality. My first instinct is to focus on my "to do's" first and hope I will get to my spirituality when I have time. I am working to retrain my thoughts on this. If I focus on my spiritual needs first, the Lord has promised my that he will lighten my load and make the rest possible. I know this does not come without effort on my part. The Lord cannot fabricate more hours in the day, but he can help me to prioritize my time and efforts. This is one of the big reasons for my limiting social media and internet time. When I am mindlessly wasting my time doing those things, I am not getting other things done. I also know I need to manage my sleep habits. Going to bed late is tempting for me. I love the quiet of the evenings, but sleep is what is gonna get me through.

In this moment and season of my life I am turning it over to the Lord and I am asking him to make good on his promise to me. If I do what he asks me to do first, then he will help me with my righteous endeavors. I am grateful for the time I had this last week to get into a good routine while my bigger kids were at school and I had time to sit, think, and ponder. I feel like I have armed myself with faith in this plan. I love my Heavenly Father and I know that I am his daughter and that he loves me inspite of my weaknesses. I know that the Lord has a plan for me and that if I submit to his plan rather than force my own plan, things will go much more smoothly. I also know that my Savior, Jesus Christ, knows my struggles and he knows the desires of my heart and he will lead me and guide me through this journey. I am grateful to have the knowledge of who I am, what I am doing here, and where I am going. The Gospel of Jesus Christ has armed me with this knowledge and has helped my faith to grow and has given me a desire to try to be better. My goal each day is to be just a little bit better than the last. Moving forward, even with the tiniest of steps, is still moving forward.

Thank you to those who have become my support system, my cheering squad, and my village. Some of you are right around the corner and some are 1/2 way across the world. I love each and every one of you and I can't do it without you!

The silver lining to all of this is that I will have a sweet, new little baby before this semester is all said and done :)